The “Practice” of Polyandry

Polyandry is the practice of a woman having more than one Husband. That is exactly what it is: Practice.

The three of us have been married now for three and a half months and I feel it has been Grand. There are so many reasons as well:

  1. While there is a significant increase in Laundry (Two Husbands, A Wife and two Children), there are three people to deal with it.
  2. There now are three minds to decide what to have for dinner and three sets of hands to help put it together.
  3. There are three solid incomes flowing into the household to help with the groceries, cords of wood, and laundry soap.
  4. There are three Parental Figures there to berate a finicky eating child to finish their supper.
  5. There are three Parental Figures to listen to the mind numbing faltering practice reading of one of the Children.
  6. There is a division of labour in terms of making sure that the Wife feels like a Queen at all times. We two Husbands make sure she is lubed with whatever she needs: Beer, Wine, Food or foot rubs.
  7. There are three people to ensure that the fire in the Hearth is constantly stoked, wood is chopped and the lighters are filled with fuel.
  8. When something breaks there are two Manly Men with Manly Tools and Manly Grunts to lift, disassemble, dissect, decipher and reassemble to failing item.
  9. When the two Husbands in this case are both the same size they can practice the Age-old and typically Female act of sharing clothing: The Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants.
  10. There is a built-in Babysitter when two of the Three want to have a Date of Steak or Noodles.
  11. When one of the Three has to travel for work there is still a solid Two left to lean on each other.
  12. When one of the Three is chronically ill there are two left to offer each other the support needed to deal with the sick one.
  13. There are three pairs of hands to fold laundry.
  14. There are three pairs of hands to help clean up before all the other Poly People come over for a Poly Party of Poly Practitioners.
  15. Did I mention Laundry?

It is Practice for many reasons as well:

  1. There is a significant increase in Laundry and therefore a higher level of coordination is needed sorting and folding.
  2. It requires a level of attention to detail and coordination for three adults to navigate a bathroom at the same time in the Frantic Mornings.
  3. It requires Practice to coordinate the parking of three vehicles in the driveway so that no one is blocked in when they need to leave first.
  4. It requires Practice to decide what to watch on the computer or TV in the evenings.
  5. Making sure that everyone is given their share of support when needed and in the right quantity.
  6. Deciphering whose Man Underwear belongs to whom.
  7. Deciding which Manly Man will tackle a particular Manly Duties in such a way as to not emasculate the other Manly Man.
  8. Making sure that The Queen is adequately plied with the right amount of attention by the right person at the right time.
  9. There are two Husbands requiring the almost unachievable skill of ascertaining what is exactly going through the Wife’s mind at the time and what/who exactly pissed her off and therefore who should apologize.
  10. Explaining to questioning neighbours, teachers and family who the other Man is.
  11. Looking for a dry towel in the bathroom.
  12. Deciding who should go when the Invite says: “Spouse” or “Guest”.
  13. Learning who you can come out to and who you can’t and what actions will force you to do so regardless.
  14. Did I mention Laundry?
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This entry was posted in Brother Husband, Children, Marriage, Polyandry, Wife and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The “Practice” of Polyandry

  1. Greenhawk says:

    I just wanted to take a moment to say that I am very interested in your blog posts and hope they will resume. Complexity in relationships is a topic I find fascinating. For example, I regularly read Poly Mom (http://polyamorymom.blogspot.com/). The parts I find most interesting are the daily realities of negotiating life both inwards and outwards for those who live in unconventional families, from relating to relatives, primary schools, to the how and why of the family choices. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and your reasons, and please, keep writing.

  2. Alex French says:

    Hey Robert,

    My name is Alex French. I’m a writer for Details magazine. Wondering if you have some time to chat? If so, shoot me an email at amfrench@me.com. I’m putting together a piece on polyandry and would really like to speak with you.

    Thanks,
    Alex

  3. temptinglilith says:

    So how is it these days? How do you get on?

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