The Pastor? Minister? I don’t know. I am not all that up on the nomenclature. Well… he talked of things being not Fair. He talked of Life and our role in society.He talked of Salvation and how it pertains not to the Beginning of the End but of the continued path to simple Goodness. To self Enlightenment. To Fullness. He talked of Spirituality and how it is not a Dogma or a prescribed notion but an internal recognition of something more that inherently manifests itself in the Corporate (as he calls it) world. Not the world of Big Business but of the world of Society as a whole.
This was my initiation into the Universalist Unitarian Church. A rather palatable and comforting service with no pressure and ritualistic subservience but simple Love of the issues of Life. There were no discussions on servitude and Death and Righteousness. There was an illustrated story (taken from the Library) read on a blanket to the seven children there: “All Things Great and Small”. There were songs of strength and Love. There were quotes from non secular people. There was a lighting of a candle. There was inclusion.
The UU Church has groups for Polyamorists and for LGBT. It has supported Gay Marriage. It is active in Social Movements. It advocates, and does not preach, (and there is a big difference) the inclusion of all people AND religions.
I am captivated but not saying I will subscribe. I will certainly respect. And will Respect more than I have for many other so-called Faiths. That may change. I may be willed personally to attend more. I felt a kinship with all who attended.
Most notably with Her. And her wonderful small Son.
A Madonna of Beautiful Wonderfulness. It is hard not to think of Spirituality when gazing upon her. She is perfect and Lovely. Life personified.
As I have said: I am captivated.
We Made Love last night.
It was magical and Warm and True. Our Love Manifested in Movement.
With the coming morning we went to the UU service and held hands throughout. This is a regular occurence for her and it was my pleasure and enjoyment to share the experience. I want to know all about her. All of her thoughts, fears and beliefs. This was a wonderful occasion to learn about her and the parts of her life. It also ended up an opportunity to learn about myself.
I want to be with this woman so badly. I want to spend endless hours with her and share her inner most feelings and to unshield my own fears and desires with her. I want her to Know me.
I feel Salvation in her presence. I feel a cultivation of my soul. I feel a rebirth and a longing.
A longing for strength; A longing for rebirth; a longing for depth; a longing for confidence.
“Incipit vita nova”: A new Life begins. Or: Life begins anew.
She has given me the strength, rebirth, depth and confidence.
She has given me the Love that I know I have been missing.
My Wife gave me so much and still struggled. She tried so hard. I will undyingly respect and honour her for this. My Brother Husband tried so hard to support me and to support my Wife. Through illness and depression. I feel for them and the hurt is immeasurable. I could not rise above those things despite their administrations.
Now… Now I have found a measure of Salvation. I have seen the light that is self-peace. I have found the Love that is immeasurable. Again.
While I am scared to use the word “Need”, I do Need her. It is not a feeling of desperation but a feeling of completeness.
I am revelling in Fullness and Contentment (though I wish I could see her more often…). I am revelling in Love and Enlightenment. I am revelling in her touch and the memory of such.
I see photos of her that I want to paint and adorn my sparse home with.
I want her Being all around me.