Aglaia’s other partner arrives this afternoon for a week-long visit.
Prior to last weekend’s dramatics and the brief point where She left me over my… issues… I was dealing with what I feel was a normal amount of Jealousy. They had been living together for five years and their conversations are frequent even through the distance between them. Every day and for long periods. She talks of him often both the good and the bad. I felt it was hard to compete even though there should not be any thought of competing. Poly is not about competition, it is about the acceptance of love from multiple sources. It is about experiencing the Joy of another person’s Joy.
“Compersion is a state of empathetic happiness and joy experienced when an individual’s current or former romantic partner experiences happiness and joy through an outside source, including, but not limited to, another romantic interest. This can be experienced as any form of erotic or emotional empathy, depending on the person experiencing the emotion.”
But it was still hard to think of this coming week and my own distance from her during this time.
But things have changed.
I hardly feel Jealous anymore. I feel the compassion for Her and the Compersion is there. I glad he has this time to be with Her.
Aglaia has also been clear that their relationship has changed significantly and that the distance between them is somewhat of a comfort. She is looking forward to him being here but is also pleased that they are apart most of the time. It is an interesting situation. I am not sure if the distance has made Her Heart grow fonder or not but that is not all that important.
She has also been clear that She wants to keep talking and communicating during his stay and that She would like the three of us to get together during his stay. I look forward to this. If nothing else I will get to see Her.
She has also been very supportive of these Changes I am trying to implement in my Life. I have gone to two AA meetings in the last two days and while I am not… comfortable… I feel I am doing well and it feels good to be on the right track. Her support has been a great comfort to me.
I have also stopped taking my depression medication completely and surprisingly I feel great.
Things feel like they have turned a corner and there is a shining rising sun over the mountains of my Heart. I feel alive and hopeful.
It is probably this new outlook that has allowed me to come to peace with her partner arriving. I will miss our contact this week but it is comforting to know that the following week will bring a closeness again.